72 Am I In Love?!?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

“Am I in Love?? :-?”
Its a very common question, but very complex one to answer =((. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another.
Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.
Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love; it is as if you have your best and most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to the opposite person. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one another’s happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should make you want to be a better person. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?
There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.
1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision and your decision alone.
7. Neither you nor your partner feels the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

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72 comments:

Admirer... said...

wow...lov..lub dub lub dub lub dub lub dub...i will keep these tips in my mind and use them on my girlfriends :D:D lol lol....keepgoing anvi =d>

Anvitha said...

Thnx Admirer :)

Anonymous said...

=d> =d> =d>

Roja said...

Wow. Nice post and cute blog. I love your name Anvitha.

Anvitha said...

Thnx Anony and Roja :)

Anonymous said...

So, if I say only 6 out of the 9 points are true mine is not love?? :(

Anonymous said...

nice 1

Prabhu said...

As every time, the post is cool

Raghu said...

Heyy Anvi.. How are you? Happy Diwali yaar. Have a blast :D

Anvitha said...

Thnx Prabhu :) Thnx Raghu, Happy Diwali

Anonymous said...

Happy Diwali Anvi Darling :x
Nice Post :D

Anvitha said...

Lol... Thnx Mr Anony :)

Beryl said...

And yes.... I think I am in Love :)

Anvitha said...

Beryl :>

Lilly said...

Wow.. Such an informative post. Loved it!! I will follow you right away Anvitha!

Anvitha said...

Thnx Lilly :)

Anonymous said...

Happy Diwali Anvithaa >:D< Good Article :X

Anvitha said...

Thnx Anony.. Same to you :x

Anonymous said...

Good one.. Happy diwali <:-p

Anvitha said...

Thnx Anony :)

Satish said...

Hi ra Anvi. Good one... emiti ee madya love love antunnav :> whats up? are u in love?

Anvitha said...

Lol satish... No, atleast I dont think so ;)

The One Who Loves You Anvitha said...

What?!? And I thought you loved me =((

Anvitha said...

Lol... who on earth are you?

The One Who Loves You Anvitha said...

I said that in my title (name field) itself :D

Anvitha said...

Grrrrrrr 8-|

Anonymous said...

:( Am i not love? :( Because only 2 of 9 are positive :(

Akwasibah Ademola said...

Anvitha >:D< Injum post :x umegha inum thenishaayi? I miss you. Regularly please do post. no long gaps. I miss you.

Anvitha said...

Ademolaa >:D< Thank you :x I miss you too :(

Rakesh said...

Its a sick post. There is nothing called love. Everything is lust. There cannot be love between a guy and girl. Its only lust. This is a stupid post. SSTTUUPPIIDD I say..

Anvitha said...

May be you never fell in love Rakesh!! And the way you think is sick :P

Anonymous said...

I Am In Love!!! For Sure!! :">

Rachel said...

He loves me :D He loves me not :( He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :(He loves me :D He loves me not :( HE LOVES ME :d:d:d:d

Anvitha said...

LOL Rachel :-j

Admirer.. said...

she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..she loves me:)she loves me hot:">..lol..(inspired 4m rachel's comment)

Eric said...

There is a thin and sensitive line between love and lust and you had put in good effort to show the difference as distinct. Well done young lady; I totally totally agree with you when you say love is trust, being friendly, understanding AND physically being attracted. Thats a pretty good thought! Keep Going Anvitha :)

Anvitha said...

Thank You So much Eric :)

Punit said...

Nice blog. Hi Anvitha. Will u b my friend?

Chetan said...

hey heyy!! Nice one.. so anvitha... are u in love??

Anvitha said...

Lol Chetan... I think.... errrr...... yes

Chetan said...

WOWWWWW!! and whos the lucky guy??

Anvitha said...

:P But I dont think he considers himself lucky... he gives a damn about it :( @ chetan

Chetan said...

What the f***?? What do you mean he cares a damn? Why on earth any guy wouldnt care you :-o

Anvitha said...

Hmmmmmm.... I donno :|

Chetan said...

Yaaar... why are you girls soo complicated?? You all leave people who care and love you and run behind guys who dont care you?!? Yeh kya logic hain yaar?

Anvitha said...

Girls aren't all that complicated Chetan!! Its you guys who think too much posing obvious expression and make things complicated!! Just because a guy loves any girl doesn't mean she should love him too!! Love has no reasons and logics behind. It just pops up out of nowhere!! Thats a simple funda and think simple. You'll find girls simple. Perhaps simpler than any damn guy!!

Chetan said...

I know you are hitting this on me!! Lets leave it here :|

Anvitha said...

You are a smart ass and I love it ;) @ Chetan

Chetan said...

Thittavaa?? :| or was that compliment? :|

Anvitha said...

Whatever :-j

Parthasarathy said...

All the 9 points are valid and makes sense. A good one Anvitha. And yes, with all my years of experience, let me tell you that lust is a part of love. When you are in love with someone, it meant you love the way she is - the way she thinks, smiles, feels, seduces and everything!!

Anvitha said...

Thanks for your comment and valuable opinion parthasarathy garu :)

Sindhu said...

Oh My God Anvi and Chetan :-o You both started to argue again?? A good post Anvitha. Nice Blog!!

Anvitha said...

Lol Sindhu...=)) We werent arguing :-j Thats how we love each other as good friends :P Thank You !! :)

Shameem Akthar said...

Hi ANvitha.Was googling for cute looking blogs and landed up here. Nice Blog. And cool articles.Go through my blog once and suggest some ideas to make it look better. My blog is http://jaisivananda.blogspot.com. Bye.

Anvitha said...

Thanks for your compliment Shameem :) I'll leave a personalized message in your blog :) Check out!

Triveni said...

Hey Hey!! An awesome post!! I loved reading it!! Thankyou, Anvitha >:D<

Anvitha said...

Thnx Triveni >:D<

Anonymous said...

Nice Blog. Looks cool and what song is that? I want to download it. Nice one Anvitha.

Anonymous said...

nuvvu katti... nuvvu thopu... nuvvu thurumu..... :D

Meow >:D<

Anvitha said...

Meoww >:D< How have you been?

Parimal said...

NiceOne again!! Cool =d>

Anvitha said...

Hey Parimal.... Thank you :)

Prabhu said...

Well Thats An Awesome Post Anvitha :-bd

Anvitha said...

Thnx Prabhu :)

Anonymous said...

LOLOLOLOLOLLLLL.... @ comments 33 and 35 =))

That Spcl One... May be in Future :P said...

Anvitha :> whoz that fella :>

Anonymous said...

A very true, genuine and deeply touching blog , I see a lot of passion in you towards love and life. Just one point I have a different opinion. In love , A true lover would always give a chance to his love to decide between her parents and him ( that's what i think ).....

......Shri !

Anonymous said...

Nice Blog Anvi ...VVS

Anonymous said...

hmm

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